Dating women during divorce
He referred to a “stupidity quotient.” He stated that this stupidity quotient is a measure of how much each time a party dated impacted on the total cost of the litigation. As part of a national program which I have co-chaired, one lawyer from Alabama used a term which I have borrowed.
Instead, the cost of the litigation depends on how much is contested between the parties.My experience is that parties who feel wronged due to infidelity make the divorce process much more expensive.Thus, if you want to save money on a divorce, you will wait to date until after the divorce. It should go without saying that individuals who are going through a divorce are “on the rebound.” Accordingly, it is generally believed that it is not a good idea to commit to a significant relationship until after a divorce.However, this reason does not enter into my steadfast opposition to dating during a divorce.My overwhelming reasoning in this regard is my experience as to the cost of litigation.I tell clients that it is not the objective reality (whether it actually happened) that matters as to the cost of a divorce.
What matters is the spouse's subjective belief (whether your spouse believes something may have happened).
Therefore, if a spouse believes (even wrongfully) that you are dating, often this fact alone will increase the cost of a divorce. The fact is that the approach of divorce lawyers differs as to this issue.
For example of one web site which spells out the negatives of dating during a divorce, click here.
For a Q&A from a mental health professional on dating when the parties have minor children, click here for an article from the Family Education web site.
For a view from North Carolina (which has significantly stricter views as to this issue as compared to Illinois), click here.
My belief is that the best lawyers who handle divorce cases realize the added financial costs that are often incurred because there is a boyfriend or girlfriend during the divorce proceedings. C., is to provide legal services as cost-effectively as is possible and we have found that it is generally not possible if there is a dating relationship. Many times when a spouse is dating and you are not, that spouse may harbor feelings of guilt which may make him or her be fairer with respect to a pending divorce.