29-Oct-2015 00:25
  • Name: Campbell Allison
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Im dating a black girl

The controversy that arose made me wonder what people think about me based on how I present myself.Am I asking for negative male attention if I wear something that shows off my body?

How are the perceived rules different for me as a black woman?When I saw fellow Bustle writer Marie Southard Ospina's OKCupid experiment looking at how people responded to her dressing as different "types" on the site -- goth, retro, natural -- I couldn't help but wonder how the results would be different for me as a black woman. I changed the pictures on my profile once a week, allowing enough time for new people to register the change.The information on my profile always remained the same; the only thing that changed was the pictures.I didn't respond to any message during the duration of this experiment.Will I always be perceived as the black girl with the big tits and the fat ass, or am I seen as the black girl with the big tits and the fat ass because of the way I dress? When I almost moved into a notoriously crime heavy part of Boston, my mom and I had a chat. I'm a grown woman, and I should be able to wear whatever I want.She talked to me about crime rates, about how to be safe at night, about my behavior, and most importantly to her, about the "provocative" way I sometimes dressed. But my mother -- like it or not Mom, this is true -- cares a lot about how people perceive her, and me.

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that her mother, my grandmother, used to always put on lipstick before she left the house.

"You never know who you're going to see," she'd say.

I was taught from a young age about the importance of perception.

album cover caused a Twitter explosion this summer, I was especially interested to see how it was perceived.

I wasn't surprised when people said Minaj was ratchet, slutty, hyper-sexualized, and a bad role model.

When Minaj responded to the backlash by captioning her album cover "Unacceptable" on Instagram in juxtaposition with other "acceptable" images, she ended up making an unexpected but powerful point about the different standards black and white female sexuality are held to.

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