Reality tv dating lingo
Five-times-married Jan Leeming claimed in Femail last week that internet dating has given her a new lease of life - and she's not alone. There's more chance of winning the Lottery on a double rollover week than there is of being a woman over 35 and getting a date on the internet. Her brain cannot process the words: 'I don't think you're quite right for me.'LIKES THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE Gold digger. WILLING TO TRAVEL Lives in a filthy flea-ridden hovel that he can't possibly let you see. NORMAL KIND OF GUY Normal in a Norman Bates kind of way. NEVER DONE THIS Have done this a thousand times before, but I'm too embarrassed to admit it, so will pretend that you're my first. Your date will be a riot of whoopee cushions, itching powder and fake-dogpoo-filled fun.A staggering 65 per cent of British singletons now turn to the internet looking for love. It doesn't matter if the guy is 60, he'll still confine his searches to '35 and under', so any woman's age should be taken as a ball park figure. Working her way through the internet site and it's your turn. Looking for a new wardrobe, jewellery and a few weekends away before she dumps you for a 25-year-old Adonis. Normality should be a given, so run a mile from anyone selling it as a good point. The golden rule of internet dating is that anyone who feels obliged to mention they have a sense of humour is usually devoid of one. LOOKS NOT IMPORTANT Barrel-scraping beggar who can't afford to be a chooser.5ft 10 5ft 7.
Here, to help you read between the lines of adverts, CLAUDIA CONNELL brings you a handy his 'n' hers Dating Dictionary. She'll be forever showing you pictures of fluffy kittens on her mobile phone and, on your first date, will have given pet names to all your fingers before the main course arrives. Forget any silly notions of Marilyn Monroe's softly sensuous body. VOLUPTUOUS Fat and shows too much flesh in clothes two sizes too small for her. Tries to make up for her ample size by being the life and soul of the party and fails in all respects. That means he's ugly, 5ft 3in and plays snooker CUDDLY Morbidly obese. But it's doubtful many beholders will consider her beautiful. On the UK High Street it's a completely different story. Cancel a date with this girl and you'll come home to find your car has been keyed and all the sleeves have been cut off your shirts. SPORTY I watched the Olympics and play snooker for the local pub team. Best not to hang around long enough to find out whether it's pre op or post op. A date would necessitate the removal of the roof and a whale sling. NOT INTO EMAIL TENNIS I need to secure a date as soon as possible, before you suss out what a tedious dullard I am. A woman's place is in the home and, more precisely, the kitchen - preferably cooking his meals and elbow deep in his dirty shirts. He'll order for you in a restaurant and pat you on the bottom and say 'don't you worry your pretty head about it' when you ask him about his day. Only to be pursued if you like men who moult all over your furniture. Speak slowly and clearly and always be within five minutes of a toilet. Cuddling is very unlikely, although squashing is a distinct possibility. The good news is he travels for free and gets in half-price at the cinema. The sort of person you cross the road to avoid, even if the road is the M1 in the rushhour. She can tell you the name of every character in TV teen drama Gossip Girl, but has no idea who the Prime Minister is. Likes to start the day with a couple of Bacardi Breezers. I'M INTO WHIRLWIND ROMANCES My visa runs out in 10 days and if I don't get married I'll be deported. Brace yourself for a world of cup-a-soups and novelty toilet roll holders. She'll have Googled you and looked you up on Friends Reunited before you even meet. Andrew Lloyd Webber will look like a Calvin Klein model next to this guy. TOLD ATTRACTIVE By my mother, the only woman I've every loved or am ever likely to. HOPE YOU LIKE MY PICTURE Taken 10 years ago and bears no resemblance on now. NOT JUST LOOKING FOR SEX I am just looking for sex but hope you won't see through my cunning reverse psychology. On a date he'll order graphically named cocktails and talk dirty with you over the garlic bread. You want to paint the town red and she'll want you to paint her living room beige. Woe betide you if you don't notice she's had her hair cut or that she's wearing new shoelaces. Everyone in online dating is 'attractive.' In the real world it means 'pleasant to look at' - in the internet-speak it means: two eyes, two ears and a mouth. When he's not even claiming to be attractive, it's time to worry. DISCRETION OFFERED I don't care if you're married too. So unless you're a sure thing you pay for your own dinner.Renowned dating instructor Alex from Real Social Dynamics is another instructor that has taken his social skills up a notch.
Alex is the latest featured "natural instinct" superstar from RSD and goes on tour for the RSD Hotseat in 2012 and early 2013 The role of Captain Jack in the field of PUA is not just to be the seducer, but to show men how to live as well.
Money, life, women, adventure, the lifestyle that most men covet is the lifestyle that Captain Jack enjoys due to his success in the dating world.
Translation: When his ad says 'rugby player's build' he doesn't mean Jonny Wilkinson, he really means Johnny Vegas DISCRETION EXPECTED I'm married and don't want my wife to know.
INDEPENDENT Lying, cheating commitment-phobic scum.
But the internet and computers that have been by far the greatest source of new words in this quarterly update with the addition of 'tweeps' meaning a Twitter user's followers and the online craze of 'photobombing' - getting into the frame of someone's photo - Head of Online Dictionaries Glynnis Keir said: 'The world of technology remains a major influence on the English language, with innovative advances reflected in new entries including: NFC (near field communications), 3D printing, and e-learning.
Pick Up Artists (or PUAs) are men who have dedicated themselves to developing the skills to be good with women. Below are profiles of some of the top Pick Up Artists in the seduction community, many of whom have started or coach for pickup companies dedicated to teaching guys how to improve their game. Self described older man with a world of experience at seduction, 60 years of challenge is one of the guys who garners tons of respect even though he's not in the front lines of the seduction community marketing machine.